Getting carried away by Cinderella's Pumpkin

I first posted the following story several years ago. It's a tale of seasonal woe so I thought it reasonable to re-post it as we enjoy Canadian autumn. FYI: So far this year I've only purchased two (rather large) pumpkins.

Getting Carried Away.... 

My friend Suzie was visiting this past weekend, so I took her to see our colourful local market with its abundance of fall produce. Rejoicing over the bounty of the harvest, I proceeded to load up on way, way too many vegetables. Our last stop was at the stall of an organic farmer who frequently arrives at the market in the fall with a cartload of (incredibly interesting) designer pumpkins, squashes and gourds. Having already purchased a perfectly acceptable Halloween pumpkin at Loblaws for $2.50, I'd pretty much convinced myself that additional pumpkin purchases were both unnecessary and wasteful. That was before I spied a large, squat, green and orange specimen sitting on the ground beside the cart, looking for all the world like Cinderella's carriage, and topped with a perfectly twisted, 'artisanal' stem. With elbows out and adrenaline surging, I ran to grab the pumpkin and hoisted it to my chest by the fragile stem. Clearly under unreasonable strain, the stem promptly broke, allowing 300 pounds, or so, of vegetable matter to free fall to the cement. Remarkably, the pumpkin remained largely intact with only a couple of splits in its taut skin. (In retrospect, I realized that the flesh was about 6 inches thick all 'round and that it would've taken a jack hammer to cause any real damage). The owner of the pumpkin, who had carefully watched these antics, sauntered toward me. Recognizing an idiot when he saw one, the farmer informed me of the rarity of the vegetable genre. That's a "Russian fairy tale pumpkin de Provence" he mumbled, looking me straight in the eye. It sounded something like that, at any rate. After a brief lecture on never lifting a pumpkin by its stem, he suggested crazy glue for easy repair, then charged me $10. He offered to keep the brutish vegetable at his stall until I could drive by with my car to pick it up, however, I was so mortified by the whole encounter that I could hardly wait to take off. I therefore refused his kind offer and struggled, hump-backed with pumpkin in arms, over the 200 yards to my parked vehicle. Thank God for strength training.   

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My friend Suzie was visiting this past weekend, so I took her to see our colourful local market with its abundance of fall produce. Rejoicing over the bounty of the harvest, I proceeded to load up on way, way too many vegetables. Our last stop was at the stall

Draft

When I finally got the pumpkin home, ( and realized that I didn't own crazy glue), I began to view it in a less illustrious light and so decided to pop the thing in the oven. Five hours later it was cooked. As a result, I have enough pumpkin in my freezer to feed a small village until well into next year. What can I say, I'm a sucker for foodstuff that is either really big or really small and has the word miniature, Mennonite, maple, fairy-tale or Provence in its name. For example, I frequently buy sweet-looking miniature aubergines. Since I don't know what to do with them, I keep them in my fridge until they rot, then put them in my green bin for composting.  

Pumpkin in the oven. I know that it looks like I'm baking a troll's bottom, but I really wasn't. My cell phone camera distorts things.

Later that same day....with new footwear and feeling like Cinderella.

Pastry, then pumpkin pie....

The French terms for pie pastry are pâte brisée or, the sweeter, pâte sucrée. These use butter as the fat and have a different taste and texture than the typical Canadian pie pastry described below. Many inexperienced bakers are intimidated by pastry. However, the technique is easier and more forgiving than you might think. The thing to avoid is over-manipulation of the dough. There are 2 types of fat that the typical Canadian home baker will use in pie crust; lard or vegetable fat (aka: Crisco). Both are generally found in 1 pound blocks in the baking section of the grocery store and will usually contain a perfectly acceptable recipe for pastry on the packaging. What I am providing below is basically the recipe on the Tenderflake lard box.

Step 1- Assemble your tools
- a large mixing bowl
- a pastry cutter or 2 knives
- a rolling pin
- a measuring cup

Step 2- Assemble the ingredients
- 2 teaspoons salt
- 5 ½ cups all purpose flour
- 1 pound of fat (lard or vegetable fat)
- 1 tablespoon white vinegar (not balsamic or otherwise flavoured)
- 1 egg lightly beaten
- approximately 1 cup of very cold water

Mix together flour and salt. Cut in the fat with a pastry cutter or 2 knives until the mixture resembles coarse oatmeal. Add the lightly beaten egg and vinegar to the water and gradually add the liquid to the fat and flour, stirring with a fork only until the dough begins to cling together. (Too much liquid will make it tough but too little, simply causes frustration). Gather into a ball and divide into 6 equal portions. Wrap each of the 6 balls in plastic wrap and pat to form flattened discs of dough. Each disc forms a single crust.(So, an apple pie will need two discs and a pumpkin pie only one). Refrigerate for ½ hour before using or freeze for up to 3 months.

To roll out the dough, flour both your rolling pin and the rolling surface.Roll to an even thickness of approximately 1/3 cm. If the crust breaks apart, simply patch it together. Patched pastry has an attractive rustic look anyway. Balling it together and re-rolling too many times will make the pastry tough. In my experience, perfectionism impedes progress.

To make pumpkin pie, purchase a can of pumpkin puree and follow the directions on the inside of the paper label on the tin. If you do so, you will end up with the perfect pie, such as that shown above. 

Editorial Note: Some of you may feel the need to purchase a real pumpkin, bake it, peel it, seed it and mash it rather than buying a tin of pumpkin puree. You do so at your peril; pumpkin prepared in this manner is frequently both coarse and watery. Buy the tin. Follow the directions.Trust me on this one.